I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
