literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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