Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
