also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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