I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
