Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize