I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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