just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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