WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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