you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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