So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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