eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
