I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
