He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
