This girl is more easily done than said...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
