Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
