you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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