i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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