He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
