i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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