ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
