May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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