There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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