i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
