They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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