But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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