How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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