I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
