he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I could fuck to npr.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
