This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
