i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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