every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
