She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
