i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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