don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
