I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
