why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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