Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm passing your future prison.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize