This is not my ceiling
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
