you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
