Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
