so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
