Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
COCAINE IS GR8
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
