Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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