and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
