me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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