and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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