I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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