WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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