this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
