Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
