Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
