so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
