Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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