I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
