I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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