is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
