he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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