Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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