Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
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