so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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