Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I understand Curling. That high.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
