to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
