I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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