would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
